Brandie Cosby Testimony Section 4 of 7

I have been dating this guy for three years and due to my past trauma, I felt that it didn't matter if I had relationships with this man because of my past it didn't matter. Oh how  I did not cherish my body I was still angry with God I was still hurt and confused. I had not explored the faith again.

Now neither of us was really interested in going to church or being of any Christian values. We partied it up and did the teenager thing, and guess what? To our surprise, we became pregnant. Surprise, surprise, you get pregnant when you do the dirty deed. I was told I was going to for an abortion also it seemed like a good idea because there was no way on this green earth that I was going to have his kid on this crazy earth that is already filled with hate, violence, and cruelty; the world was evil in my eyes so I wasn't going to have her I'm just going to have an abortion and be fine with it.

But God, see, God always had a plan in his plan was definitely for Ada to be here, my oldest, and so I go to this place to have an abortion, and they tell me, hey, I need you to talk to this lady first, and then after you talk to her we can do this. I walked into this ladies' room and she introduced herself I introduced myself and she said follow me I have something to show you I laid down on this table and she put the ultrasound to my belly and there it was a heartbeat she printed the pictures for me and we went to a small office to talk in that talk she looked at me and said do you know that you're a mom right now you're a mom. I was so confused at that moment because I was a mom, and this happened in a moment's time. My whole life changed. I then said I was going to keep the baby and my mom could raise the baby, but that soon changed.

I got my apartment and (Name taken out for the persons desecration) and I got married. We moved in together, and life was so scary. I was so hurt and confused again. I cried out again to God why do you want to continue to hurt me? first him? Dave? Now, the man I had to marry, you're going to tell me that he's going to destroy me, and it's OK with you. How can you let this happen? One clear night not really clear but as clear as I can think I what's cooking Mola and he had come home he had given me $20 to go get diapers with and told me that was our last $20.00 I need to make sure I spent it on diapers in so I did and I actually bought the Kroger brand diapers and paid like $9.99 for enough diapers to get us through for the week and I could give back change to him and it would be good he would be happy he could get himself a lunch. When he asked for that $20 back I said I I spent it on diapers he got really mad and things happened I ended up in the hospital the next day because there's a lot of pain that and my boss told me I should probably get checked out because I looked pretty bad so I ended up having a few broken bones in a long conversation with the nurse she informed me that if I wanted out of the situation that I was in if I was in a situation then she could help me. I wasn't strong enough to step away from that situation. I felt like I deserved it. After all, I wasn't a very good person in my eyes because every Sunday, I had to ask for forgiveness for something I kept doing that I didn't want to happen, so my worth was depleted. We decided that we would buy a house, and we moved out of our apartment because we couldn't afford the apartment and to put money away for savings we moved in with his mom, and they were great. They helped take care of Ada. I, however, had lost any appreciation for my marriage and for myself, and I cheated on him. There went my dignity my honesty my self-respect and my integrity I threw all of that out the window when I jumped in my boss's car went to the mall and then a club in Houston and then back to a hotel.

Then I told him about it all and how I wanted to end our marriage because it wasn't a marriage after all. He didn't like either of those while I was driving down the road, I remember going about 50 miles an hour, and all of a sudden, everything went black and I pressed on the brakes in the middle of the road, and my eyes and vision came back, and I jumped out of the car, and I ran back to his mom's house I took Ada and I brought her to the neighbor, and I said please hold on to her I will be right back I had to get the car because my phone was in there and I had to get my phone to get to my mother's phone number or to call her I don't really remember exactly why I went back but it was for an important reason either the car or my phone when I got back he had taken over the car start a drive in it I hopped in with him he apologized, and we went to pick up Ada and the police were there my mother and father was called and they picked me and Ada up brought us home.

She had actually started worrying about me. You see, she's seen me in Walmart with bruises all over me, bite marks all over me, so she had started to pray that I would leave him. I can't say that during the last years of school was all bad. I did have some celebrating times. I graduated high school I made that accomplishment, but I wouldn't have done it with help God even though I felt alone disappointed, broken hurt confused damaged I remember saying to somebody I think it was one of my bosses that I worked with at Kroger I have a target on my head I call on the crazies to come hurt me. Has anybody heard of spiritual warfare curses on the bloodline? Well, there is more to that, and I can't tell you at the moment about it, but there was a curse on my bloodline.